Did you feel bad when no one complimented you? You felt sad when your colleagues did not invite you for a lunch? Did you feel heart broken when some family member made a comment? Or you heard from someone that a relative bad mouthed about you?
Or have you been thinking too long about an argument with a collegues for too long, feeling, bad, low ,angry and most of all thinking that it was all your fault.
If your answer to all these is a yes, then you are not alone. It has been pretty much what I have been doing in my life.
It’s not your fault but it’s a normal behavior of empaths or people who we believe are very emotional.
As you grow in life, you learn so much and so did I.
I was giving too much energy to these things and hence was not able to focus on things which really matter.
So I have programmed this cope up mechanism for myself and it seems to be working wonders for me.
I realized how much negativity I was bringing to my life by focusing on perception, believes or behaviors others had for me.
- I started focusing on my goal: It is important to save your energy for your goal, whether it’s a career goal, personal goal, body goal, financial goal or anything at all. You need to focus on it. Plan things you need to do to reach that goal. It’s important to know where you want to take your life and what be the better version of you. Plan, journal and find out what are the things you can do to make yourself a better mom, business woman, artist or whatever you want
- I started asking myself if that event is worth my attention: Every small family drama, relatives badmouthing, collegues judging, neighbors gossiping can all be categorized here. Anything that doesn’t bring you closer to your goal, closer to becoming a better you is not worth your attention. This question actually stops me form snapping or getting back at people which I may regret later. Sometimes we don’t even realise but answering back is not required.
- If it your close people or relative hurt you intentionally or unintentionally, try to understand their basic intention behind that behavior. If they are your parents, siblings or spouse, you must know they love you. Period. If it is someone trying to put you down, repeat this mantra” OOm Ignoraya Namah” Do .Before you reply back think they either are in a lower level of awareness or sanity that you are in and you certainly don’t need to lower down yourself to a level of ignorance. Ask yourself would you like to get involved in a fight with someone with lower education, awareness or sanity?
- I understood that like I was not born to please everyone, they weren’t either. If somebody is not being nice to you, you don’t need to fight them back as they don’t ow anything to you. Ignore them and move on. Expect the least out of people. If you want to expect, expect it from yourself, your people. Your friends, neighbors or any one the in a public ride don’t matter to you, so why should their rude behavior matter? If someone doesn’t like you, it’s ok. You don’t need their liking to live.
- I stopped thinking about what perceptions people have about me at my back. Earlier I would be keen to know and later be feeling upset about it. Honestly I don’t care any longer as I know myself better than anyone else and their perceptions don’t define me. Being upset about some mean and rude person’s comment simply means taking on the negativity on yourself. By doing this, you are doing exactly what they expected and wanted you to do that is be sad. Cheer up and shoe that happy face again.
- Focus your energy on people and things you love: Every time I feel low, disappointed like that, I just go and hug my daughter. She reminds me what really matters. So when ever this happens I prefer having a great time with family wither by having a nice dinner or decorating and cozying up my room and house. Lighting candle, praying and watching Hall mark movies.
I am at utmost peaceful mindset in my life. I am happy with what I have achieved.
Do you feel sad or disturbed with other’s behaviour too? How do you cope up with that?
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Believe and good things will happen to you!
Lokah Samastah sukhino bhavantu!